You’re narcissistic. Yes, you read that correctly. You’re narcissistic, but so am I, your mother, partner, best friend, and neighbor. Perhaps when you hear the word narcissist, you think of someone who believes they're pretty great and doesn't care what anyone else thinks. And while these are some manifestations of narcissism, the experience of narcissism in human beings is fascinatingly nuanced.
Overall, the word has a pejorative implication and, thanks to pop psychology, has become a catch-all to describe anyone who possesses higher-than-average confidence and treats people carelessly. Unfortunately, these stereotypes fail to tell us what exactly narcissism is or what it does to us or others when it occurs in everyday life.
Well-versed in the Enneagram personality model and knowing that there are no one-size-fits-all criteria for identifying narcissism, Sterlin L. Mosley realized there had to be at least nine variations of narcissistic personality disorder. The Narcissist in You and Everyone Else is about the convergence between the Enneagram personality types, the three primary instinctual drives, and narcissism.
We all have a touch of one of the 27 subtypes of narcissism described in this book within us. So maybe you’re not so enamored with yourself that you can’t stop staring at yourself in the mirror, but who among us hasn't become so singularly focused on an aspect of ourselves or our experience that we've lost sight of the world around us? Narcissism isn't in and of itself a problem but rather an occasional condition of modern life in an individualistic society.
Explore narcissistic tendencies that may appear in your own life and learn how to challenge those tendencies to continue to push for greater compassion and empathy in your everyday life and those around you. This book's purpose isn't to tell you how wrong, terrible, or defective you or anyone else with narcissistic tendencies are (which, remember, is all of us). Instead, this book is meant to create better understanding and forgiveness for ourselves and others.
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Praise for the Book
“Dr. Mosley’s well researched and scholarly book on the 27 Types of Narcissism: Discovering the Narcissist in You and Everyone Else, provides a detailed, academic approach on how to deal with the narcissistic distortions of the 27 Enneagram instinctual drives. Sterlin takes a deep look at empathetic development, and global egocentric empathy for another’s feelings. This work is very useful in assisting my clients on their psycho-spiritual journey through life. Sterlin provides excellent suggestions on how to be with the different enneagram types, narcissism and the 3 primary instinctive drives. I highly recommend this book.”
— Deborah Ooten, PhD, Founder and CEO of Conscious Dynamics, LLC
“Penetrating and accomplished, Dr. Mosely’s book details the intersection between Enneagram personality types, their three instinctual drives, and the many forms that narcissism can take. Clinicians will find powerful insights they can use with their clients. Curious readers and students of the Enneagram will discover a unique application of the system, one that offers useful recommendations for how to deal with narcissism in your personal and professional life.”
— Tom Condon, Enneagram Teacher and author, “The Dynamic Enneagram”
REVIEWS
This is a masterpiece. Not only is it engaging and easy to read, it's simultaneously cerebral and well-thought out. Mosley does an excellent job of detailing the enneagram, the core "types," and provides rich context for each of the described narcissistic variations described therein. You will likely see more than one person you know in this book, and the salient advice Mosley provides for dealing with the more severe of each type will be useful, no doubt. Well done, bravo, and here's to the next work!
— Maddie P.
One of the most compelling Enneagram books to come out for some time. It takes a growth oriented perspective illustrating how every subtype, and indeed each of us, had the capacity to be narcissistic in our own way. Dr. Mosley opens with a discussion of what narcissism is and it’s various manifestations. He then proceeded to the subtype descriptions, which are intuitive, accurate, and give excellent portrayals of what real people of each subtype look like. He’s also a gifted writer and this is a highly enjoyable read. I can’t recommend it enough!
— Damien R.
From the very beginning, it is clear that Dr. Mosley is an incredibly knowledgeable author who has dedicated his life's work to studying personality typologies and narcissism and the impact they can have on individuals and relationships. He skillfully combines psychological research with real-life examples, anecdotes, and personal insights to create a compelling narrative that genuinely resonates with readers.
What I found particularly valuable about this book was its practical advice for dealing with narcissists in personal relationships. Mosley provides various tools and strategies for identifying the signs of narcissism, understanding the motivations and behaviors of narcissists, and ultimately, finding ways to cope with their often-toxic influence. I personally found his tips to be incredibly helpful in managing some difficult personal relationships I have with narcissists.
In summary, "The Narcissist in You and Everyone Else" is a must-read for anyone who wants to gain a deeper understanding of narcissism and its impact on our lives. Even if you may think your life is narcissist-free, you may be surprised after reading this book! Mosley's expertise and practical advice are invaluable resources, and his engaging writing style makes the book a pleasure to read. I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking to improve their personal relationships and emotional well-being.
— Kara E.
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